Watching My Boys Interact

Since bringing Boone home, Lincoln has been doing so wonderfully. We've quickly learned the word "gentle" and it's meaning. I couldn't be a prouder mommy of my BIG BOY!!! Lincoln has been so much more cuddly with me, always wanting to climb into my lap, spontaneously planting big wet ones on my face, arm, knee...where ever is closest. My favorite is when he says, "hug?" and lays his head on my shoulder for a few minutes of cuddling, meanwhile gently stroking my arm with his tiny little hand.

Last night as we were tidying up toys before bedtime, Lincoln stopped and crawled across the floor over to where Boone was laying out on his blanket. Without any prompting, Lincoln picked up Boones itty bitty hand and with a sweet soft voice, spoke, "hi, baby! how do doo?" What came next was even more precious. He ever so gently stroked Boone's hair, laid his face right next to his brothers and with there big blue eyes they just stared at each other. Lincoln laid his hand on Boone's naked tummy and kissed him on the forehead.




It was such an unexpected moment. My baby has grown so quickly and has the sweetest, most caring heart. There is so much purity and love with the way he treats his younger brother, it brought tears to my eyes. I wish I had my video camera available 24/7 to capture these moments and come back to them later, but I know I'll never forget that one.

Boone Walter Gillespie

After having regular contractions (about 5 minutes apart) all of Friday morning we went to the hospital to get checked. I thought, "If this is labor, it'll be a breeze!" Well, false alarm. They sent me home. However, I had progressed from 50% to 80% effacement. Still, I was only 1.5 centimeters. The contractions continued, however irregularly, but nevertheless more painfully. All day Saturday same thing. With much more painful contractions at 6 minutes apart Saturday night, we again decided we might as well go get checked. Even if they sent us home, at least we would know if I had dilated any further. Still 1.5 centimeters....but 95% effaced. I was feeling discouraged thinking my strong, excrutiating contractions were doing nothing. The nurse said I was in early labor and it could continue for hours or days.

Because of the prior c-section with Lincoln, I was always told I'd be at a slightly higher risk of needing a repeat c-section in case of uterine rupture. My goal was to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after ceserean). I would need to be monitored closely and they did not recommend any form of induction to speed things up. My uterus incision may not be able to handle the strength from pitocin. I had an appointment set for Monday morning (my due date) with my Dr. to schedule a c-section since they didn't want me going too far past my due date, putting more strain on my internal incision. Contractions continued all night, all day Sunday, getting stronger and stronger. They were so irregular in their timing I was feeling I couldn't handle them much longer. Around midnight they regulated to around 6 minutes apart. I woke up Johnny and started timing them around 4am. 5am came and I knew I couldn't wait for my appt at 8:30am but I needed to get up and get ready NOW. I was shaking uncontrollably and was hit with a wave of nausea. I took a shower and got dressed, stopping every 2 minutes when I couldn't move due to a contraction. Each one felt like I was getting kicked in the stomach by a goat!! Even though I was in so much pain, I was getting more and more excited that maybe when I got there, I'd be at like 6 or 7 centimeters! Nope.

7am - Arriving at the hospital, I was....2. And still only 95% effaced.

Thinking they would send us home and I'd continue with days more of contractions, I was alarmed when the nurse came back to say they'd be admitting me. Apparently the baby's heartrate was dropping with the contractions enough that they wanted to monitor him and help get my labor going as naturally as possible. Normally if the heartrate drops and comes back up quickly enough it's not that big of a deal. However, in my case, if it continued it could be a warning sign of too much uterine stress.

8am - I got to my delivery room, expecting a long day and not much hope of having a successful VBAC. I had heard "c-section" so many times the past few days I was thinking it might have to happen.

9am - The Dr. came in to check me since I was having some odd bleeding. To her amazement I was 100% effaced and 4 centimeters! The contractions in that two hour period were about 6-8 minutes apart so that much progress in an hour was quite a surprise.

10am - Mid contraction, eyes closed. Suddenly 4 nurses and both Drs. swarmed into my room, turning my on my side, spreading my legs, forcing oxygen on me. Not knowing what was going on, because I was focusing on breathing through my pain, I instantly started crying when I heard them discussing with one another something about getting anesthesia called immediately and a probable c-section. Apparently the baby's heart rate had dropped from the 150-160 to the 80-90 range for over 3 minutes. They were able to stabilize it and got an internal monitor on the baby's head (breaking my water in the process) to get a more accurate reading of his heart rate. The Dr. told me that they would continue to monitor him, but if it happened once more and didn't come back up in a minute they would need to do the surgery. Prepared for the worse I agreed and was surprisingly calm. It was a relief to know that they were so on top of it. I was in such good care with these Drs. (and of course I had so many people praying, I knew that the Lord had His plan and all I could do was have faith that He was going to make it all ok.) If I didn't get my way of having a VBAC, at least the safety of my baby was going to take first priority. Right after the craziness calmed down, I got my epidural (although I was planning on having one anyway, it was neccessary in case of an emergency section.)

10:30am - Epidural kicked in, Mom and Casey got there. I was a happy camper. Heart rate looked great, contractions were a steady 6 minutes apart. My wonderful nurse was so encouraging and I was her only room so I got her all to myself. The Dr. came in again and put an internal monitor on my uterus to monitor the strength of my contractions. That way, if it looked like too much stress, they could better monitor me, and possibly start the lowest dose of pitocin to get my contractions closer together. With my water broken I was now on a timeline. (Too long without the protection of the amniotic sac, there could be infections). If I was going to push this baby out, contractions needed to be much closer together or I wouldn't progress. The contractions on my own were so strong, they felt I could handle it well. After 10 minutes on pit, they were 4-5 minutes apart.

11am - They upped the pit one more dose. Contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. I couldn't feel one of them!!! I had the best epidural ever! I was laughing and making jokes during contractions. Couldn't say that for the past 3 days! I finally started getting my strength back, and a sense of hope that I might be able to push this kid outta me!

During the next few hours, the in-laws came down, as did Laura and Jason. It was a party in that room! We watched A Mighty Wind, Galaxy Quest, cards were being played, chocolate cream pie was being eaten (grrr...I still haven't gotten any, Kathy!)

4pm - The Dr. wanted to monitor my bleeding and again to her surprise I was 7.5 centimeters! She said probaby a few more hours!!! I couldn't believe it! His heartrate still looked good. It did drop a few times, but came right back up within a few seconds. I was beginning to think, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS!"

Papa came down with Lincoln. I really wanted to spend some time with him before his brother was born.

6pm - I thought my epidural was starting to wear off just a little (was still pretty numb, just started feeling more tightness and pressure. I thought that if I had several more hours, by the time I was pushing, it might be worn off completely. I didn't want that!!) They decided to check me just to get a report. 9.5 centimeters!!!!! 0 station! They wanted to wait for 2 MORE HOURS before checking me again. It seemed like a long time for half a centimeter, but they said that if his head descended further I'd have less pushing time.

7pm - It had been only one hour since she checked me last. His heart rate started dropping for about 30 seconds with each contraction, so the Dr. said it could be him descending but we better check to make sure. I was fully dilated and he was +1!!!) Time to start pushing!!! I couldn't believe I had gotten there! I was elated! But the hard part was just beginning.

7:10 - First push. Heart rate dropped. Pushed 3 more times, then the Dr. came in and said that if I didn't get him out soon, they didn't think the baby'd be able to handle it. Again, because of my history I shouldn't be pushing for hours. They suggested we use the vacuum to assist but I had to push for my life and I didn't have much time, or they'd have to possible do an emergency c-section.

7:44 - By the 6th push set, the vacuum was in place, I had what felt like 50 nurses surrounding me screaming in my face to KEEP PUSHING! DON'T STOP! (no one would tell me to breath!) With that push, his head was out! I finally opened my eyes to see my little boy enter the world after 34 minutes of pushing! The Dr. told me later that she barely had to use the vacuum, but my determination was what got him out with that last push!

Boone Walter Gillespie 7lbs 11oz 21in

Because of the epidural, I couldn't feel any pain, or any tearing. Thank the Lord! That was my hugest fear in all of this. I did get a 2nd degree tear and am in a lot of pain, but all in all, this was the most incredible experience of my life. Although I wasn't able to hold him immediately he never left my sight. Just a few minutes later he was on my chest. I was stunned for about an hour that I had actually done what I did, and quickly. What a miracle.

8:30ish - Lincoln met his baby brother and we announced to the room the middle name. For months we had been planning on waiting till the birth to tell my dad that his second grandson would have his name, "Walter." It was a special moment all around. I'm so glad that our families was all there to celebrate with us.

I had the best team helping me through labor. Johnny, Mom, Kathy, Laura, and my videographer Casey. You all were wonderful and it meant the world to me that you were there. We couldn't be prouder of our new little one and are so excited to see him grow into a strong, man of God!

Thank you all for your prayers, and Casey, for keeping the FB world updated. (Just to clear things up, it was NOT ME posting updates.)

14 days to go...

As I'm approaching my due date (July 20th), I'm really trying to cherish these last few days with just me and Lincoln. He has adjusted well to all the changes this past month has brought. Moving being the biggest one. Now he's really in for it! Baby brother Boone.

I know around 18 months their vocabulary explodes, and my goodness has it. At his 18 month check up, his NP was incredibly impressed by how many words he has. "More than the average 2 year old," she informed us. Ya know what they say, slow to walk...

We call him our little mockingbird, as he's ALWAYS copying words with the most inflection. Guppy just taught him to shake hands, and say (in his little tiny high pitched Lincoln voice) "How do dooo?" He'll giggle and run back and forth between whoever's around, shaking hands. He'll even ask Milo the dog! (Speaking of Milo, I just looked over, and Lincoln has draped his pajama pants on Milo's back. "Here go!") I love summer time. Diapers only. Less laundry. I love being able to understand what he's saying, when even Johnny will be like, "What does he want?" That is a great joy of being able to stay home with him. I cannot imagine missing any of this. I'm so fortunate for a loving, generous husband who's job allows me to just be wife/mom.


We recently took him to Marine World with the cousins, Aunt, Uncle, and grandparents, and although he was so tired and overly stimulated by the crowds, he was surprisingly well behaved, and just took it all in. I can't wait to go again (this time after nap) when he can really enjoy the animals.

I wish I could capture all his adorable new moments and store them somewhere I can always come back to. It saddens me that he's growing so quickly and I'm not documenting everything like I did his first year. However, I'm very much looking forward to experiencing these milestones all over again with Boone. And I know it doesn't end here. There are many more exciting things to come.

"I'll Dance With Cinderella"

I was going through the thousands of songs in my itunes library and came across Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella."  Immediately my eyes filled with unrestrainable tears.  I admit I hadn't previously paid much attention to the powerful emotion in the lyrics.  At least they never tugged at my heart so emphatically.  Although this song is from father's perspective of his daughter, I made it my own, imagining down the road, my Lincoln, all grown up.  I closed my drippy eyes and imagined us dancing at a beautiful celebration of his marriage.  My prayer is that I will sink in every moment leading up to that day, and each time he clings onto my leg, calling, "mama, up!" I'll stop, and scoop him up for a dance around the living room.  That's exactly what I did at that moment, as the melody played.  He giggling, me sobbing.  It was, I'm sure, a confusing sight for Johnny who walked into the room at that moment.  (However, seeing me erupt into tears these days are nothing out of the ordinary.)

There is an indescribable joy in my heart, along with a mild ache of watching him grow so rapidly.  I have so much excitement for Lincoln (as well as for baby Boone who danced with us).  Perhaps 18 months old is a tad soon to be thinking about his wedding, but as every mother has told me, childhood passes speedier than you realize.  I assume that preparing myself will make me ever more appreciative of these moments when I can snuggle him tight, and with just a funny face, induce purely delightful giggles from my little man. 

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

(chorus) So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

(chorus)

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

(chorus)

Ever noticed Michael Buble's Lisp?

I'm sitting here to document the sweetest moment I've shared with Lincoln today, before I forget this overwhelming feeling of joy.  As I was updating my facebook, and downloading the recent Matt Giraud tunes, Lincoln, feeling left out, struggled to scale my chair, onto my lap.  Realizing I need to soak in as much one on one time with the darling, dangling from me before another little dude begins demanding so many duties, I suddenly stopped and realized the greater, more satisfying opportunity before me.  

Current iTunes song playing - Michael Buble's "I've Got the World on a Thstring."  (Has anyone else noticed the undeniable lisp that man has?  I've been to the concert and a big fan since 2005, but only in the past year have notice it more and more.  Now I can't get passed it.)  Being a big Buble admirer himself, Lincoln started beaming and bopping his head to the beat.  We spent the next 3 songs twirling and dancing together.  Amidst the bright eyes and boisterous giggles from twirling with mommy, the joy beaming from him reminded me of the delectable day almost 4 years ago when Johnny and I danced to Buble at the event that began the most marvelous journey I could have ever imagined.  Then, my memory led me to imagining twentysome years from now, I could be dancing to the same song with the same son on his special day.  This thought brought me to tears.  (Well, everything brings me to tears these days.)  Anyway, I cannot wait for that day to come, however the thought of not being able to scoop him up, tickle his belly and cover him in kisses leaves me weeping.

I've heard many say that each phase and age is better than the last.  I understand that statement as it's wonderful to see the little bundle of poop and drool progress daily, but sometimes I wish he'd stay 16 months forever.  I am so grateful to have the ability to stay home and witness every new experience he has.

A Funny Moment in the Gillespie Home

So right now I'm sitting on the couch watching and laughing as Johnny is on the phone, trying to load the dishwasher, only to be chasing after Lincoln, who is quickly sneaking up and stealing items from the bottom rack and running into the other room, where he is beginning a nice collection of measuring cups!  Talk about run on sentence...I could step in and help, but it's really quite entertaining!

New Lincolnisms

So, we've been working with Lincoln to stop whining when he wants something.  So please and thankyous were introduced.  He's normally very good at repeating.  I mean, he can say "cheese" but "please" comes out "daaah!"  He will follow you around the house singing "daaah!  daaah!"  It's always the same note too; this kid has perfect pitch!  Very cute, but now we need to work on what he's asking so politely for.  We'll run down the list of possibilities, and when we get it right his eyes widen and he'll repeats it about 10 times!  Also, if you ask him if he needs a new diaper, he stops everything and declares, "poopoo!"

This week he has begun a new fascination with books.  He'll bring me one at a time, reach up

and plead, "daaaaaah!"  His favorite books are The Underwear Book, I Love You This Much, and Red Hat Blue Hat.  Oh, and music...a commercial or song  comes on and he can't fight the urge to dance!  (A side note, as I'm writing this he's sitting in my lap, stroking my hair.  I love these moments.)

I've been talking to him alot about the new baby coming in July.  Yes, he'll soon be a big brother!  I'll point to by growing belly and say, what's that?  Sometimes he remembers and says, "bobby!"  Not the name, it's what he calls baby. 

One of our close friends says that Lincoln must have a quota of "hi's" he must say in a 24 hour period.  I think it must be near one hundred.  Usually towards the end of the day it's becomes more frequent.  When he's trying to get your attention, he'll put his face right up to yours and say, ever so sweetly, "Hi!  Hi!  Hi!" until you say it back.

I wish every moment could be documented, as I do not want to forget these precious times we share.  Every day he learns something new, and we're overwhelmed at how honored we are to be his parents.  I've never experienced a sweeter voice or more beautiful child.  We are so excited to see who this next baby is.  God is blessing us so richly.