Up to no good

Being parents to three boys, we knew the time would come.  It has arrived.

A couple months back, Auntie Katy was in town and had been staying in Grandma and Grandpa's guest room. Lincoln and Boone were "napping" in said guest room. About 45 minutes after I kissed their precious heads and tucked their little bodies under the blankets, the door creaked open and Lincoln announced with a questionable expression, "Good morning, mom."

Warning.  Whenever he greets me this way I know he hasn't slept, but only waited what he assumes has been approximately 2 hours, or a decent nap. He paused in the doorway, darkness from the room behind him. Something was wrong, but what could it be? He looked as though he might have a slight bruise on his eyelid and partial cheekbone. Hmm.  If only.

Then I saw it. It hit me like a bag of bricks. Boone. Guilt in the eyes. Wait, what else was on his eyes? Oh, that would be Auntie Katy's MAC waterproof eyeliner and mascara. Scribbled on hair, cheeks, stomach, ears. I turned on the light, fearing what I knew I was about to discover. Walls, carpet, furniture, curtains, clothes all got a liquid makeover (his sound asleep infant brother was the only thing left untouched). Foundation smeared in the carpet, pink lip stain on his shirt and eyelids. Katy and I stood, there trying to pick up our jaws that were now lying on a pile of pressed powder. I've discovered one of the most difficult things about parenting is keeping a straight face while trying to discipline. Why did I start laughing immediately after the shock set in? Probably so I wouldn't burst into tears.

Ok, fast forward a few months to yesterday. Kids took a pretty good nap at Guppy and Papa's house. I should have realized something was up when, hearing their sweet little voices, I wasn't immediately welcomed to them wandering down the hall asking for food. They must be talking to one another, playing innocently together, right? There wasn't anything in that room that they could get into, right? Oh, Phoebe, why are you still so naive?

Slowly but surely they made their way out to the living room were Johnny and I had been enjoying the peace and quiet of three sleeping babes. Blissfully unaware.

Hang on, I didn't give you those long cardboard tube remnants.

"Hey, boys? Where did you get those?" Two deer in headlights...I knew it.

Well Guppy, I owe you two large Costco Christmas wrapping paper spools. Make that three. Poor Johnny tried so hard to hide the I-am-laughing-because-that-shouldn't-be-funny-but-it-really-is face. Especially when Boone, confused by seeing dads "joy" in what he expected to be a certain spankable offense, told him, "Don't worry dad. There are three 'swords.' One for you too!"